granny_possum (granny_possum) wrote in the_story,

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Yall know what a Brownie is don't ya? One o them thar lil brown an nacked fellas what live in the woods er barns er folks' dwellins. Any ole way this here one named Buster lived in this old fella's barn an he was a mean lil cuss. Ugly too. One o the first nasty thangs he did was a set the ole man's hay ta fire...
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..because that dumb old feller, he didn't know thing one about brownie-folk, and a brownie without a saucer of spoilt milk every few days can get a little rambunctious.
Hoo wee that thar old man was a pissed off. But Brownies without they's spoilt milk er mouldy bread has ta way o showin they's displeasure. Now iffin youse hungry, wrinkled up an nacked you wouldn't feel too powerful good yerself. So's the old man's wife made the lil feller some clothes ta make peace. But she made the clothin out o wool an it made him itch all taover. That made Buster a angry too so's he went taover ta this here three haided cyclops' home an whispered some awful thangs in his one ear. When that thar cyclops woke up he done figured he dreamt them thangs an set out ta do em.
First that thar three headed a cyclops rubbed hisef in old lard. Then he a rolled in his dawg's shit. Then he a got his biggest ole knotted up club an haided off ta the old man's a dwellin.
Well the cyclops got ta the old fart's a dwellin an a started a bashin away on the shack he an his a wife was a livin in. Busted it down ta lil splinters! What was a left o the barn he a did the same ta only Buster gots in the way o the club...
Buster got his a butt bashed reel good like. Now he was a hobbled up ole cripple Brownie. Yep he's a bad Brownie butt nobody ever said he was a smart one. The Cyclops got all wore out an went a home. Buster drug hissef inta the woods in a powerful pain. He decided he was a gonna try tanother evil plan then a git fer away ta watch the reesults next time.
Now Buster haid a girlfriend a Brownie an she was a reel slut- butt that's a why Buster liked er. She a fixed up ole Buster as a good as she could an did the Nasty Thang ta em an she started a hatchin a evil plan o her own.
Thisa girl Brownie was a named Addie an she was a thinkin how stupid Buster a was an she could git him ta do her a dirty werk an he'd always git blamed fer it. She a wanted ta harrass the townsfolk an a vex em reel good.She done thought o poisonin the flour supply at the mill er dumpin a dead cow in the well an stuff like that thar. Butt that was a regular Brownie tricks- thisa had ta be BIG!
So Addie gots Buster ta piss in all the town's supply o pickles. An when a folks done et the piss pickles they'd git reel sick from the poison Brownie pee.
But not everyone ate the pickles, some didn't like pickles. So Buster had to come up with an even better plan.
Everbody a likes pickles!